Letting Go of Expectations as a Parent

Life Doesn’t Always Go as Planned
When I first became a mom, I had all kinds of expectations. I imagined Jace’s first steps, his first words, school milestones, and all the things I thought a child “should” do. I even imagined that he would become a dancer like me. He started off ahead of the curve; rolling over, holding his bottle, mimicking sounds and words. I felt proud and excited for the journey ahead.

But life had other plans. At just four months old, Jace began having silent seizures. I remember that first night clearly! It was the first time he reached for me, and it would also be the last. That night I noticed something wasn’t right. Because of my medical background, I recognized the subtle signs, and soon we found ourselves in a children’s hospital for four months of tests, treatments, and uncertainty.

Through comas, life-threatening diagnoses, and doctors who weren’t sure what would happen next, I learned that letting go of expectations is not giving up; it’s embracing the life God has given your child and celebrating who they are.

Lesson 1: Celebrate Your Child for Who They Are

Joy isn’t in the milestones we imagined; it’s in the moments that truly matter. For Jace, a smile after therapy, his love for music, or swinging at the park became celebrations. Letting go of my own expectations allowed me to see and cherish these moments fully.

Lesson 2: Flexibility is Freedom

Plans change. Routines shift. I’ve learned that embracing flexibility isn’t a compromise; it’s freedom. By letting go of rigid expectations, I could focus on Jace’s needs and celebrate the victories he achieved, however they came.

Lesson 3: Faith Guides the Way

Psalm 23:1 says, “The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.” Trusting God has been my anchor. Even in hospital rooms and uncertain diagnoses, faith reminds me that God’s plan is greater than my expectations.

Lesson 4: Joy is Found in Connection

Joy often comes in relationships. Whether it’s with your child, other family members, or caregivers, the love and connection we nurture bring meaning and hope. Jace, Tierany, and Quinton have all taught me the power of these moments, small but profound.

Lesson 5: Take Life One Day at a Time

Thinking too far ahead can overwhelm any parent. Choosing to live moment by moment has allowed me to appreciate Jace’s victories, no matter how small. One day at a time, one moment at a time. This is where true joy and presence live.

Encouragement for Parents
Parenting a child whose path doesn’t match your expectations can be difficult and heart-wrenching. But it’s also an opportunity to experience love, resilience, and miracles you never imagined. Let go of what “should be,” embrace what is, and trust God to guide your child’s journey.

I pray for you, you pray for me, and together we’ll watch God change things. 💜