Christmas often brings visions of picture perfect families in matching pajamas. But for many caregiver moms the reality looks different. Hospital visits. Medications. A quiet holiday at home instead of big gatherings. If that is you, I want you to know you are not alone.
The real gift of Christmas is not perfection. The real gift is Jesus, who stepped into a messy, broken world and brought light where it was dark. That truth has carried me through the hardest seasons of motherhood.
When Jace was four months old everything changed. One night he reached for me and then he stopped responding. Because I had medical training I noticed right away. What followed was four months in the children’s hospital, six weeks in an induced coma, and months of heavy medications like phenobarbital that left him sedated. I remember how bleak the world looked the day we went to the hospital. The trees were bare. The grass was dead. It was cold and dark. By the time we left it was spring and life was bursting back outside, but my baby had to fight to find his breath of life.
That season broke the expectations I carried as a new mom. I withdrew from nursing school so I could be with Jace. My family had a meeting and they all agreed to step in. They helped fill the gaps where I fell short so I could be present with my son. I chose quality of life over longevity and brought him home surrounded by family, faith, and love. We celebrated small moments like his first Easter, his half birthday, and his first St. Patrick’s Day because those moments mattered. They were evidence that God was still working.
If your life looks different than you imagined, you are in good company. Mary’s story reminds us God works through circumstances that do not make sense. Hope shows up in unlikely places. Faith lets us believe that God is still writing a beautiful story even when the pages look messy.
Here are some ways to hold on to hope this season.
How to hold on to hope
Focus on presence, not perfection
Your presence is the greatest gift to your child. You do not have to make everything perfect. Let go of Pinterest images and choose a few things that bring joy. For us that looked like one gentle light drive, a short movie night, or simply sitting together while music played.
Speak life over yourself and your child
Words have power. Speak Scripture and truth aloud. Say things like, I trust God for today, or You are loved, you are safe. I say these things to Jace and to myself on the hard mornings when anxiety and pain feel heavy.
Write down gratitude, even for small things
Keeping a short gratitude list changed me. On the darkest hospital days I wrote the small sparks down – a nurse’s kindness, a tiny movement from Jace, the warmth of a blanket. Those notes held me when my heart felt fragile.
Look ahead with faith
God is not finished with your story. Hold a long view with a short day by day focus. I chose to return to school after we found our new normal. I graduated nursing school in 2016 and returned to work in 2017. I tried full time and learned that looked different for me. I moved to PRN schedules, then weekend work, and now I teach as a nurse educator. My schedule is flexible so I can be with Jace. Those steps did not happen overnight. They were small, faithful moves forward.
Take care of your body and accept help
I have lived with lupus since 2018. I also have fibromyalgia, as well as chronic back pain from lifting Jace. Some days I cannot do much. Having routine, being organized, and saying yes to help from family or an aide who comes weekdays for eight hours makes all the difference. Let others serve when they offer. It is not a weakness. It is survival and wisdom.
Closing scripture and hope
2 Corinthians 9:15 says, “Thanks be to God for his indescribable gift!” Hold that gift close. Let the meaning of Christmas breathe hope into your home, even if the season looks different than you imagined.
If you need a reminder of God’s faithfulness this season my book A Faith That Doesn’t Quit was written to hold your hand through the dark and point you back to hope. It makes a gentle gift to yourself or another mom who needs encouragement.
I pray for you, you pray for me, and together we will watch God change things. 💜
